So, you know I write romance, right?
Well, do I have an Al Story for you....
Western Washington has had a record snowfall this year. And, when it snows, the weather crew can give the tornado storm reporters a run for their money on drama. We'll start just after the meteorologists allowed regular programming for "wet" streets (not frozen). It's as good a place as any.
PART I
The Monday night before last---
Having been stuck in the house for a good five days or so, I had to get out! And, anyone who knows me would be shocked to learn that I'd been stuck in the house for five days or so...:) just saying. But I digress.
I went up to The Ram. None of the regulars were there. Al is playing in a jazz band on Monday
nights, so it was an lull-like night. It's been cold. So, I'm at the Ram and pull out my trusty little notebook and tune everyone out and start wrting. (The difference in environment is good for jump starting on occasion.)
This guy, Jason, he said his name was, was sitting across the bar and on the phone. He starts calling across the bar: "Are you a writer?" He leaps up and comes around to my side and sits two seats over. Starts asking me questions. I put my notebook away and visit. All throughout the conversation there are the "What is your name?" (Kathy) "You are sooooo pretty" (Thanks.) "Are you married?" (Yes, thank God.) "How many books?" (Seventeen) "What is your name?" (Kathy, I just told you that (for the fourth time))"Dialogue is really important." (Yesssss) this is say slowly, because every author knows what's coming next: Have I got a story for you! You should write my story, it's really interesting, we can split the money 50/50. etc..etc...
Anyway, it didn't take long for him to become really annoying. He paid up, went to the bathroom. There was a really young couple sitting close to him. And, I said, "What the hell!"
They asked if I'd like their help in ignoring him. "Yes! Thanks. That would be great." I pull out my trusty little notebook again and start writing, again. He comes back and the bartender: GIVES HIM ANOTHER BEER. I'm a little stunned. But I have turned my back and am keeping to myself. Here's the conversation:
Drunk: blah blah blah blah
Me: silence
A (the girl): Sir, I don't think she wants to talk to you. She's busy working. You should leave her alone.
B (her husband): So, what's this about Buddhism and Christianity? (Yes, he said that, and, it was funny)
Guy2 (sitting across sees what's going on and also chimes in with something to distract the drunkard.)
Drunk starts getting pissed, acting like a scorned boyfriend. Really!? Ugh.
A and B leave after a bit. Guy 2 is still trying to help. I refuse to look at Drunk. Next think I know, his beer is all over the counter and down the left side of me.
I'm furious. The bartender had disappeared. A waitress comes flying over and sees all the beer. I lay into the guy. "What the f#ck is wrong with you? Why did you do that? Who do you think you are?" Did I mention that Drunk said I should run all my "written" dialogue pass him? No? well, apparently he watches a lot of movies and that makes him an expert.
End of Part I where Drunk is cut off and kicked out. Guy 2, and Couple AandB were all heroes in my book. The bartender? Not so much.
PART II
One week later, Monday night
I't's Al's jazz combo band night. So, this time when I head up to my local regular place, The Ram, the bar is packed with everyone I know. I squeeze in. And, apparently, everyone heard what had happened the week before. The only thing they didn't know was exactly who Drunk was. There were several guesses but none of them had the name "Jason."
In the course of the conversation, Mo starts telling me the following:
Mo: I saw your husband here last week.
Me: What? When?
Mo: I don't know. Tried to get attention to come sit down, but he didn't see me and he left.
Me: When was this? (Mo drinks a lot! So he could certainly be mistaken.)
Mo: I don't know. Thursday or Friday night maybe.
Me: We didn't go anywhere Thursday or Friday night. We cooked at home both nights and watched the Thunder game (Yes, I say this. All Pacific Northwesterners hate OKC Thunder. ...if you don't know why that is here's a link:
Super Sonics relocate to OKC Apparently, I thrive on confrontation)
Mo: It could've have been during the day. Hell, I don't know, but it was your husband. He was talking to management or something.
Okay, now that's weird!
So, I end up visiting with some other people. Actually, end up getting together with another attorney that he covered "two counties out" hahahah for the next day.
One day later, Tuesday night
The other attorney was going to pay Al so we end up back at the Ram for the third time in less than two weeks. Al and I are sitting at the corner of the bar, me on one corner, him on the turn of the same corner. You know. Like an "L" and just talking.
Now, I know a lot of you don't believe Al and I talk, but yes we do occasionally. So we are talking. The bar is just as crowded Tuesday as it was on Monday. Then, I remembered what Mo said about having seen Al there the week before. Here we go:
Me: Mo said he saw you here last week. Were you here? (I wasn't demanding or anything. I was curious because he really doesn't like it much and won't go unless I insist on it.)
Him: Silence.
Me: blah blah blah... I can't remember what I all I said, but I was cornering him. He hates that.
Him: (hems and haws-then frustration) Yes! Look, I can't worry about you every Monday night when I'm at band practice. I wanted management to make sure they were looking out for you if I wasn't here!
Me: (stunned silent - staring at him)
Him: I thought you'd be mad. But.. but I was
really nice to them. I made sure.
The Hero Moment!!!!
If you read romance, then you know what I'm talking about.
I'm done here....
love ya'll.
